Thoughts on friendship

“I’ll get by with a little help from my friends”

Pensive, withdrawn, lonely. The life of the world can be teeming around us, the high decibel sounds can be dinning in our ears and still we can be lonely. It is possible to be lonely in a crowd. Loneliness haunts the places where crowds gather. It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he/she is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present with someone. It is a matter of being present to someone. This calls for special communication, special human interaction, special acceptance and understanding. If these are lacking, all we have is lonely people, each encased within his/her own impenetrable shell. No one wants to be lonely. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

To dissolve loneliness we need friends. A friend gives warmth, understanding, time, love oneself. A friend stands up to my anger, my selfishness, my short-comings. A faithful friend is a sure shelter. Whoever finds one has found a treasure. In his inimitable way, I suppose Snoopy would cut through the core and say, “Happiness is a friend who lets you be yourself and still loves you.” We need friends because we are social beings, not by choice, but by nature.

“I spent one morning with a friend and wished the day would never end…”

 

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Sting – Shape of My Heart

There are very few songs which I  fall in love with the first time I hear them. This one tops the list. Shape of my heart is undoubtedly one of most melodious songs of recent times! Probably the best by Sting. I stumbled upon this song when I heard it as a background score in the season (7) finale of Hustle. It fits the situation of the protagonist perfectly.

The song itself describes a nonchalant yet graceful person who takes life as it comes, with no regrets. He believes in what he does and does everything with a sense of austerity to it. He is always in pursuit of the unknown. He is a simple man with nothing to hide. The song paints the portrait of a person who is in complete control of his senses having an air of detachment with the world, to an extent which almost borders the line of objective indifference. Also portrays a feeling of guilt which he has to bear, for he feels responsible for a lost love, a failed relationship.

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn’t play for the money he wins
He doesn’t play for respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You’d maybe think there’s something wrong
I’m not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

“All I want is you”

Juno was a pretty good movie I enjoyed not so long ago. But there was one sound track which kept ringing in my ears. Its melodious and totally enjoyable, while it carries a lot of subtlety as well. A simple song, easy tune, and a lot of meaning. Its called “All I want is you”, composed and performed by Barry Louis Polisar:

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I’d be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I’d be a nod
If you were a seed, well I’d be a pod.
If you were the floor, I’d wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I’d be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I’d be the fire.
If you were the love, I’d be the desire.
If you were a castle, I’d be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Thanks to Youtube for the video and STLyrics for the lyrics. And hope you like the song as well. 🙂

Love, Life and a Tag!

Tagged again! 🙂 This time by Pavan, and as per the rules, I cannot refuse. 🙂 The rules are:

RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Also, I’m sorry if my answers sound much like Pavan’s. Its almost exactly how I feel too. 🙂 Here goes:

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
“First of all I would be VERY depressed. Secondly, I would let her go on with her life. It’s her choice to make.”
I have nothing to change here! I’d do the same.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
I’d like to live one day (only one) with no limit on the money I spend. 🙂

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? (Original question: Whose butt would you like to kick?)
“Back-stabbing. Whatever it is, let me know on the face.”
Same here as well. Also, I hate gossiping!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Donate some to charity and start a school with the rest. 🙂

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

“Of course. I feel love starts with friendship.”
Yep. True!

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved is a blessing that is placed on you. Loving is a blessing that you place on someone. 🙂

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
FOREVER! No strings attached! 🙂

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I’d firstly be heartbroken. And once I come to terms with it, I’d still love her, and make sure she’s always safe and happy.

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
Someone who is a friend, and can understand you. Because, on stage, you’ll perform with better confidence with a friend.

10. What do you expect of your loved one? (Original question: What takes you down the fastest?)
“To be herself. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Yep! Nothing else. 🙂

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
I really don’t know. I don’t think that far. Ask me how I see myself tomorrow I’d say: I’ll be playing cricket for half the day (Sunday) and then be sleeping the rest. 😛

12. What’s your fear?
I fear fear. 🙂

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I haven’t met him. He is a good friend of my good friend. As of now, I know him as a good person at heart, witty and straight-forward.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Hmm.. Wealth has nothing to do with your marital status. I’d say, whether I’m single or married, rich or poor, I only hope I’m contented and happy.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Look at the time. (I always wake up late!)

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yep! Everything!

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
God forbid such a situation for me. But I guess I’d choose the one who loves me more than I love her.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes. Completely.

19. What are your three most important expectations in love ( Original Question: Will you marry me?)
You do not expect anything in love.

20. List people to tag:
I’d love Pele, Mary and Ravencasper to do this. (I’m breaking the rule here, but these are the only people I can think of right now)

What is love?

Love – it is undoubtedly the most widely discussed topics any where in the world. Love knows no language, is not limited by any boundaries and when you are in love, you cannot deny the fact that it is the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to you.

Love is more giving than receiving; more listening than speaking; more ‘we’, ‘ours’ and ‘us’ than ‘me’, ‘mine’ and ‘I’. Though it is discussed and thought of so much about, nobody has ever come to coherent conclusion about ‘what’ love really is. That’s probably because, love comes in various forms. Love that parents have towards her children, or that siblings have for each other, or even the love which you have for that special person in life.

Following is my understanding of what love is. It is more generalization of true love and I won’t be delving into the forms of love because I believe that all forms of love have a lot in common – which I try to explain here.

So what is love? According to me Love depends on five parameters: Acceptance, Surrender, Freedom, Understanding and Time. Sounds weird? Read on…

Love is acceptance

When you are in love, you accept the person completely knowing very well that the person isn’t perfect (believe me no one is). Also, more importantly, you accept the person for what he/she is and not what he/she can become. Acceptance is unconditional. In true love, you don’t hear: “I love you but I hate your singing” or “I love you but I can’t stand your parents”. Because, when you truly accept someone, you will also love what that person loves. You learn to accept their mistakes, forgive and also forget. Forgetting is very important, because if you cannot forget, it will never be able to forgive.

Acceptance also defines responsibility. You feel responsible for the welfare of that person. You take measures to ensure that the person is healthy, happy and safe. Another very important aspect to be mentioned here is the fact that you do not see the necessity to change yourself consciously. You will automatically change when you realize that some of your actions are disheartening the other person. And most likely these changes are mutual and happen at a subtler level, and almost always go unnoticed.

Love is surrender

Why do you think they call it ‘falling’ into love? That is because you surrender yourself completely to the will of that person. Anything they do/say/think will seem the best. Surrender does not mean you are becoming a slave. Surrender really means that you are placing the person above your ego. You are becoming less selfish and less self-centered towards that person.

It also means that you are ready to compromise and adapt to situations when necessary, which by the way, is very important to any relationship.

Love is freedom

Love is free, like a bird. You cannot expect a caged bird to love you. Set the bird free, if you really love it, the bird will surely come back to you. In love, freedom means that you do not feel you are superior and try to dominate over the person. Instead, you set them free; and make sure that they are safe whatever they are doing or wherever they are going. Trying to be over possessive is really not the way. By granting freedom, you do not hear yourself say, “I don’t like you doing this”. Also, you do not resort to emotional blackmail, “It will hurt me if you do this”.

Love is understanding

Belief, trust, loyalty and understanding are the pillars of any relationship. And understanding is the most important of them all. When you are in love, you’ll know that whatever the other person does, always has something good in it for you. Small issues, which are inevitable, are handled without a word of disagreement. And consensus conclusions are arrived at, while making important decisions. Mistakes are forgiven (and forgotten) without a word of dissent or blame.

Also, in love there is unconditional support. You believe the person completely and back him/her till the end even if the idea seems far fetched. Constant motivation and encouragement is always present, this not only boosts the self-confidence, makes them happy and stress-free, but also gives them the security of being in safe hands and allows them to move forward without fear.

Love is time

Time is a commodity that is becoming very scarce nowadays. Days are flying by, years are rolling on without a notice. For the present generation, which is taken in by the technological advancements and the sophisticated working environment, it has become very hard to even make a few hours each day for our loved ones. Love is something that thrives on time. You always try hard to make time for each other, in spite of busy work schedules. You will be longing to see the other’s face at the end of the day, like a mother who waits at the doorstep for her children to return home from school.

In the end, love is what makes life beautiful and worth living for. 🙂