The last minute guy

Pressure has a lot of negative effect on people. Some fight it successfully, while some bow down to its effects developing various problems with their career, relationships, and health. But me, I love pressure.

I’m most productive under pressure. I always do my best at the crunch of time, when its almost like a do-or-die situation. Having said that, it might not be a very good thing as it sounds. Like, most of the times, I don’t get started with many things until this time arrives. Things like studying; I open my books for a test when my friends would have finished studying everything once. Even though this is the case, I end up doing good in the tests (at least, most of the times).

I’m certainly not advocating this method of going about things in life to anyone. Because, every time I do well in a test after preparing so little for it, I tend to think how much more better I could have done if I had actually put in more efforts.

This behavior of mine gets my parents going at me. They get agitated at the very sight of me wasting time (at my PC or in front of the TV) on the eve of the exams. I guess after all these years, they have gotten used to it. My dad does question though: “Wonder how you get those marks in your exams; I bet you are cheating, aren’t you?”

What can I say to that? I give him a big smile. 🙂 <— Bigger than this!

Been a while

Its over a fortnight since I posted anything on my blog. 😦 Just that my ideas don’t get translated into writing and many times gets lost within my brain! Of late, there have been a lot of things that are keeping me busy.

  • Prosoft Studio and Free100MbHost: Both are ventures by a friend of mine and I’m helping him with what I can to make it a profitable success. 🙂
  • I’m now an administrator at DNTemple, which actually demands a lot of my time nowadays. Still like it; its owned by another friend, and he has invested a lot into it.
  • The newest additions to my addictions has been World of Warcraft, shortly, WoW. I play on a private server, ’cause I cannot afford $15 (especially, on a game) to play on the official server. The gameplay and graphics are amazing. The game as an enchanting ability to keep you hooked for a long time. 🙂
  • Besides, my semester exams are fast approaching with so much left to do. Project, internals, I’ll have to let go of my online-life for a while. 😦

I’m posting a new poem ‘The Lone Crusader‘. This was a poem which I wrote when there was a huge clash between my friends. I did lose a lot of friends that day (the poem subtly says a lot about it) and in a way I’m happy that happened; I got to sieve the true friends amongst the impostors. What happened then, I guess, is a different story for a different day. 🙂

Flurry four

I was tagged by Mary on a Meme. This is my first. 🙂 The idea is to take number 4 as the theme.

4 colors I like most: Red, Blue, White and Black.

4 movies I’d watch again: Godfather, The patriot, Police Academy Series, Lord of the Rings

4 movies I regretted watching: Apocalypto, Dhoom 2, The Last Legion, Epic Movie

4 sweets I like: Kheer, Rasgolla, Jalebi, Laddu

4 places in India I like to visit: Munnar, Darjeeling, Manali, Kashmir

4 places outside India: Switzerland, All of US, Singapore, Australia

4 things I’m crazy about: Computers, Internet, Programming, Web Design

4 things I can’t live without: Friends, Computer, Bike, Food!

4 cartoon shows I liked: Dexter’s Laboratory, Swat Cats, Tom & Jerry, Popeye

4 people I’d tag: Harsha, Pavan, Ravencasper, ? (Don’t personally know anyone else who blogs! 😦 )

I turned 21 today!

Well, seems like a long time: 21 years in this world. Don’t know if I must be happy for my birthday or sad for getting older. Well, I did get a lot of wishes right at 00:00 – Hulee, Baby, Pele, Fakru, Gabri, Arnold, Vatsa wished me via IM and SMS. And I got calls from Silveron, Bottle and Sniggs. That’s about it now. All the lazy people sleeping away to glory will be wishing me later in the day I suppose! I’m planning to take them out for snacks near my college.

That’s all for now. Its 1:24 AM. I’ll update this post later. 🙂

A lot of things happened since my ‘happy’ post: Into Deep Sh**

The Greatest Insult

‘Insult’ isn’t a very hard word to define. In fact, its easy to describe it when you insult; and easier when you get insulted. Formally, insult can be defined as: a rude expression intended to offend or hurt. This rude remark may not be deliberate, but 90% of the times, it is.

For me, insult means something different. Something that is inside you; rather than the effect of a remark made by someone. I define insult as an attack on the ego. And as a direct consequence of this attack, there is anger, humiliation, embarrassment, and restlessness that gets developed. These feelings, many times end up putting a person on a tensioned spring, awaiting to pounce on an opportunity to get back even with the insulter. In short: revenge mode. Apart from the direct effects, insults, especially to kids, mean discouragement, deprivation of hope, a lapse of confidence, and also a big reason for disheartening and dispiriting them.

Instead of delving into the philosophy of an insult or ego, I would present an incident that happened in my school days, but before that, this was how I was at school:

I was a person who gave more importance to knowledge rather than the marks that my report card reflected. The marks or grades that I obtained at school did not affect me at all – be it high or low. When many of my friends (especially girls) wept because they lost 2 marks, I used to laugh at them; I would have lost 10 marks! I used to get irritated and amused at the same time when sometimes my friends (specially girls, again) wept inconsolably for obtaining 98 out of 100! I would be over the clouds with marks like that!

Anyways, coming to the incident that I was going to narrate to you: this happened on the eve of my 10th Standard results. We got our results over the internet on the previous day. I had obtained 90.08%, which is pretty good; though I knew I could have done better. But like I was, it did not matter to me. Next day, I went to the school, all happy and smiling. The first teacher I met was my favorite teacher. She was my English teacher in 9th Standard; the one who had praised me before. I happily told her my result percentage and waited for her to say something. I expected a word of appreciation, or even criticizing me not to have performed even better. But as fate would have it, the greatest insult actually came from my favorite teacher! She said: “You surprised us all, Manoj”. I was dazzled for a moment and blinked at her. The sarcasm in her voice hit me so hard that I still remember the incident. I still don’t understand why she expected me to get lesser marks. I was so involved into what she said, that I don’t remember what I replied to that.

Sometimes, when I look back into all the incidents that had happened in my life, I wonder if I had lived life assuming that everyone around me *liked* me and was comfortable with me. And sometimes, I wonder if I’m still living life that way…